I'm a Big Fan

When I went to the NLCS Game 6 in 2003, I was able to keep the Curse of the Goat alive.



Cubs fans are whiners anyway.

I'm a Balla

I remember when I left high school for the NBA. Everyone thought I was going to be the next Magic Johnson or Michael Jordan. But I was so much better. Check this out:

I reverse-jammed this ball without even looking at the basket. I made that guy look totally stupid.	Reporters always want to talk to me. Sometimes, I try to run away, but they chase me. That day, I ended up having to club Jim Gray over the head with his own microphone because he wouldn't let go of my leg.	You know, I often amaze myself with my mad skills.

I'm a Stag

I am Bambi's dad.


That little autistic bastard creeps me out.

I'm a Wrestler

I don't mean to brag, but I totally kicked this guy's ass, and I didn't even take off my glasses to do it.

I'm a Dictator

Back when I was a ruthless Korean dictator, my generals would listen to me with rapt attention. And the people loved to call me the "Dictator for Life."



...but most of them just shortened that to "that dick."

I'm a Pallbearer

Yeah, I was a pallbearer at the Pope's funeral. Big whoop.



To tell you the truth, the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how my gloves made me look like Mickey Mouse.

I'm a Judge

I remember back when I was the presiding judge at the OJ Simpson trial. You may have heard of it. Some people called it "The Trial of the Century." I don't know about all of that; I actually sort of slept through most of it. I do remember being struck by the verdict, though. When the foreman of the jury handed it to me, I remember saying...



"Not guilty? You've gotta be kidding me."

Welcome

This is I'm Kind of a Big Deal. It will soon be filled with photos and stories of exactly how big of a deal my friends and I are.

Be forewarned: You may not be prepared to comprehend how big a deal I truly am.